They Must Make Amends

They Must Make Amends

The hurt is just too great to endure

The Problem:

Their treatment for mental illness aggravates my mental illness. They have never solved the problems which induced the condition in the first place. The isolation has never gotten any better, and I would rather be alone than spend time with idiots.

Their Condition

Mental illness could be induced in any healthy person, given the right conditions. If you let them have something they really thought they needed, something that added value, meaning, and purpose to their lives; and then took that away from them. They would be devastated. Do that enough times, with enough abuse between each thing you take away from them, they would go mad in no time.

That is what they have done to me. They have not made amends for what they have done to me, and they have done nickel and dime me to death. They want a living death; damn it; they want zombie cat shit of an existence.

The treatment I’m being subjected to, is ruthless. The world doesn’t want me, and no one else does either. So just what can I do with myself that makes everyone happy? Seems, no one gives a shit about me, regardless of what I do.

The very disrespect of my value, has been shoved in my face so many times, it’s enough to make a man want to die. They don’t care about that, that doesn’t bother them in the least.

The Gold In My Palm Was Mistaken For Sand — AFI

Can you feel it? When conditions are right, anyone can be driven to mental illness. Having the right conditions is only a matter of being ruthless enough to create the situation. That is what they have done to me. They should have made amends with this stuff by now. They haven’t.

I’ve had enough bad days to fill volumes of books. There is no way for me to change my life, not to save my life. I’m stuck in this no win situation, and waiting for my death. There is no way to make it better, no way to make it right with me. What they have done is immoral. And they say, “He’s the bad guy.” Feeling like, if they hadn’t created the situation, it wouldn’t have turned out this way in the first place. They did what they did, in the hopes of destroying me. I have been in survival mode for twenty years.

The way things are, no one cares. They don’t give a damn. That is not a good way to make someone feel about themselves. I would have shared in their cause, had they been kind to me. The ruthless treatment, is undeserved. It aggravates my condition. Yet, I have been within the best of my abilities, kind and peaceful.

Everyone reaches a breaking point. Everyone has a point, they snap. You only have to be ruthless enough to make them snap. Which at this point, should be easy. Because really who isn’t at the breaking point these days? Seems, everyone is about to be on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

What They Did

I’ve been without affection, a job, a girlfriend, friends, and freedom has been denied to me. For the last twenty years, my freedom has been taken from me. The harm that has caused alone is enough to drive a man mad. I’ve not been able to work, or have friends. The life they want, is a living death.

Who else in this world wouldn’t go totally insane with all that taken from them? Who could survive that and not go berserk? I would like to see you sit in the bathroom for a few days with out anything to read, or play on, just thinking to yourself in silence. Music helps, you might be able to endure it, if you have music. But it isn’t really kind to put someone in those situations.

Solutions

Fuck the world. It is home I want!