A Long Ways From Done

A Long Ways From Done

Some stories just keep getting longer. . .

Like A Barren Desert

My friend bucket seems to have a hole in it. People slip through the bottom, and no one is rising back up to the top. Seems, I’m in the same bucket. Holding on by a thread. Waiting for the bucket to be recycled. Maybe, I can catch a ride, to where all my friends are? Only if it is somewhere good.

Been Thinking

Maybe, a project that I’m able to work on, is writing 1,000,000 words on Medium in the next year. I would have to stay on topic, and have well in advance picked the topics for each day of the year. In the event that I write each article with 3,000 words, in a year; it will be at least 1M words here.

The question is, can I stay on topic for 3,000 words in what I write? My journals are mess. The running train of thought, is scattered. It is often not worth reading. I do like my haystacks. They are however, only so useful.

This is an idea, I threw around to people today. Not sure, that there was much response about it. They either don’t believe that I could do that, or they simply don’t care. Maybe they have other priorities? Maybe!

Have to wonder, what priorities I should have? No one has talked with me about my list of priorities that I wrote a few weeks ago. Weeks or months? I’m not really keeping track anymore. The only thing that I know, almost no one is reading me. Would like that to change someday. Maybe, after all the hard work is done, and the life I have matches what I want. They can all read it then. That would be good. They would wonder how it was done?

At this hour of the morning, it is very lonely up here. No one to talk with about anything. Seems that bucket needs to be repaired. To be honest, I’m not sure what the problem is. I have heard a lot of people talking about the problems of feeling lonely, and it seems like it is only getting much worse.

Really, something must be done about these problems. Everything is cause and effect, and some things are going to have bad effects. We want good results, and we want great conditions. Really, we want peace. It is important to avoid having love and kindness become luxury goods in life.

I’m already feeling like they are. It is enough, to drive a man, out of his mind. The isolation, like it is. You have to be able to live with yourself at the end of the day. And trying to talk with people is causing me frustrations; because no one is responding back to me very well. I’ve written about the real need to have conversations. Seems, they don’t listen well. Maybe, they have very selective hearing?

Not feeling very liked, and trying to contact people, has not worked very well. To be honest, I have to be able to live with myself, and the frustration of all of these failed efforts to have conversations is more work than it is worth. Haven’t seen results from my efforts. We want good results.

The Usual Problems

The days are very long; however, the nights seem to drag on forever. Two cups of coffee a day. It is enough to keep a person awake. Keeping to beverages that are caffeine free after 8 PM. It is better that way. Really, I’m likely done with my afternoon coffee by maybe 5:30. That is almost eight hours of time for the coffee to let me sleep. It is very quiet outside. The crickets, have thank goodness all shut up. There is a sense of loneliness about that too. Because my friends were being as quiet as the crickets are now. I have to wonder, what my future holds for me? It does all seem like it could go either way of being a happy ending, or some awful tragic tale, that no one wants to remember. Which one, who is to say? We want good results!

My Thoughts

Projects, are difficult to come by these days. So much has been done. How much is enough? I read about someone that made 300,000 paintings. Didn’t read the article, but it did make me think. Have to wonder, if he will paint many more, or if maybe he will be done painting for a while, and do something else of value, and use? It is good to have proper balance in life.

Thus, maybe writing one million words on Medium, might be too much. I’ve already written several million words in my journals, however there is the problem of them not being very good, or on topic. How much is enough? Seems, no one is reading, and people don’t care. With the way things are, everyone has set some high goals in life. Some of them, are simply absurd. To be very honest, writing a million words on Medium, when no one is reading; that truly is absurd. It would waste my time, and make my fingers sore. It might be better to let monkeys bang on a typewriter for a million years, trying to produce blog posts. It may be more successful than my efforts. At least then, we could laugh at the monkeys and make fun of their punctuation, and grammar. We could even be mean to the monkeys, and and laugh at them. If people laughed at me, it would hurt my feelings. However, maybe the monkeys would enjoy hearing us laugh.

There are mixed feelings about anything AI does. Don’t really want to read anything that a machine has written. Hence, I would do the work myself. Or, farm it out to monkeys. That however, would only be in the event there was an infinite amount of time to complete the project, and I was extremely bored. Humans would be much more useful, at least; they can be trained to put punctuation in the correct place, and have some sense of grammar. We however, should not laugh at them about their mistakes. Not unless of course the mistake is very funny. Still, we don’t want to hurt their feelings. People have much more sensitive feelings than monkeys. We want to avoid stepping on anyone’s toes.

Maybe, in less then five hundred words; I’ve talked myself out of this absurd idea? We will see. I’m stubborn. We want good results. However, would my time be better used to do other things? From what I know about the experience I’ve had the last year, the only things I have done; is lay on the sofa like a warm sack of poo. I want to do a lot more than that with my next year. I would like to get into shape. And, have some real fun.

Seems monkeys are living better than me. Maybe not monkeys at the zoo, but monkeys in the wild might be living better than me. They make a tree a home, and get wet when it rains. I want to avoid being a monkey. I like having a roof over my head. Even when, it’s not raining. Yet, I need to do something that feels like doing something creative, and productive. Doesn’t seem like monkeys do much real creative work. You see, I want to be more useful than monkeys playing with rocks and sticks. But, have to wonder; if they aren’t having more fun than me? Fear of missing out! ??????

For me to feel good about myself, I need to be of use. My feelings where that my writing was of some use, to some people. However, maybe my writing is worse than monkeys? Doesn’t seem to be much success with my efforts. And like my efforts to make conversation with people, have caused me much frustation. How much is enough? Am I writing in the right language? Seems people don’t understand me. Are we making any sense? Not making any money from this, these writings have been from a place of trying to communicate and understand myself and others.

I’m limited in what I can do. I want to be productive, and useful. I want people to be happy I’m living, and alive. Seems the way things are; no one really cares at all. If they don’t mind, maybe I will hitch a ride on the next flying saucer, and take off for a while. While I’m gone, many humans will sit at keyboards and write many million words about things that they care about. And maybe society will come clean and stop being jerks in time for me to return to a better world. And really, if my writing isn’t making the world a better place; then this is enough of my writing to suffice to say I’m a writer. However, I don’t want to say I was once a writer. I want to say I am a writer that writes. Everyday isn’t too much. The real question is should we show it to anyone else? Only if it makes life better for everyone. You can not make everyone happy. Many people have been angry about less than what I have written about. Seems the way things are, the human race needs a vacation as badly as I do.

Maybe we can learn something about proper balance, and know how much is enough? We need just the right amount, not too little, not too much. All things need to be done with balance in mind. I think this article is enough for the time being. However, the word count, is: 1631. That is less than 3,000 words total, and I’m not sure I’ve stayed on topic. Might have had some fun writing it. But who in the world would read this long of a post? No one cares about monkeys with keyboards, not unless they are flying monkeys with keyboards. I’m not able to fly yet. Maybe, someday. Watch out; some flying geek on the loose with a keyboard.