Silent Dawning To The Beat

Written By A Real Person

Silent Dawning To The Beat

Ghosting

The Problem:

If you haven’t figured it out yet; you aren’t going to. That is a problem, because I’ve written about this stuff, for going on six years. There are bits in the ether, and wash to be done, at After A Fashion.

Sometimes, it seriously crosses my mind, about walking away from this whole mess. Moving to somewhere I want to be, and living a very quiet life. That hasn’t seemed to happen for me, and it feels like I’m stuck where I am.

Feeling like the way things are. Not able to change this stuff. They don’t listen, or think, or read. It is pointless to argue with them. Not much going on. There is some solace in my creative work; and if people ever get around to taking a look at it, might be good.

I read something about how the opposite of love is not hate; they said the opposite of love, is indifference. However, you have to fact check everything these days. Look up the opposite of hate, and you will see it is love. They lied. The way things are, people will say the damnedest things.

I should spell check this document. Someone might read it someday. Not sure, if anyone will ever care. Maybe, this file, will never be read. Seems to me, like I am the only person in this world. Most people, are too busy, or too upset, or too self absorbed. They never think of the effects they are having on other people. Real people should be cared for, and loved.

I’m lonely. I’m not sure, that there are words in the english language, to accurately describe the problem that I have with this kind of isolation. Really it doesn’t feel like the way that I feel, could be described in this language. You could try, but it would always come up short. Foobar? See that is very short term. No length of words in this language, would suffice. I’ve tried, Lord knows, I’ve tried. After having written almost seven million words in my life, I know for a fact; english lacks the vocabulary to properly put into words how I feel. If there was a word, for flummoxed, that rhymed with with God damn, then we might be closer.

I’m at the end of this tale. Waiting for something to change, on borrowed time; and not seeing results from my efforts. And, really its starting to dawn on me; that my efforts must really suck. I should have done something with my life.

It helps, and I’ve been thinking about this, for a few days now. If a person knows what their objectives are, and their priorities; they can do a lot. Not knowing what your objectives are, or not having clear priorities, will screw your life up; big time.

Not having someone to talk with about those things, will leave you gasping for a way to express it. And really if there was a word that rhymed with flummoxed, that meant gasping, then you might have a word, that could be used under these circumstances. See, the english language doesn’t have that word. You can check. Wish that I could write poetry.

I’m bored, out of my damn mind. No one seems to care. They say; that people love you; yet, when asked to prove it; they come up a long ways short. Feeling like, they should have been better to me. Everything is cause and effect. This world, is going to have some bad side effects, if swallowed. Mental note: this world doesn’t sound like a bite of candy.

Tired of the fake people, and the fake crap they do. You couldn’t make this stuff up. It is too bizarre to believe. Who came up with some of this stuff, well, they must have had quite a sense of humor. Someone did.

I’ve about lost my sense of humor. And my feelings are that love and kindness have become luxury goods in life. That is going to cost them. Wanted life better than this. That is for sure. Seems, no one cared.

Wish they wanted, more than a warm sack of poo. That isn’t living.