A Cure For The Blues In Yellow
Written By A Real Person
A Cure For The Blues In Yellow
Musings On Sunday Morning, With Hope For A New Day
The Problem:
I’m wearing my heart, between the painted lines. However, I’ve got a dream, and its written in my DNA code. You couldn’t beat it out of me. These painted lines, and some dream on the long road of hope, and stardust.
What will be left tomorrow? Maybe, only stardust. Some magic, that is meant to be used to build a new world. Close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Only heaven knows.
Feeling Broken
I’ve looked for healing medicine, and cures for the blues. It is time, to let the light break through. We don’t want to stay, broken. Some story about life. A long time ago, there was a book, right off the top of my head, don’t remember who wrote it, if you want you can look it up. The book is called: “Die Broke.” It was about the use of resources, and how it is better to live your life, as best as you can, and leave a legacy; then die rich, and having had a less rewarding life. However, don’t get lost in the noise, The whole point, is not about dying; it is about living.
And, rest assured; I want to live. Maybe, not like most humans. That would be a nice rest stop; to pay a visit to, and enjoy the time to decompress. And when ready; there would be some adventure that waited for me. In a world, built on broken deals, and sour promises; how do you cope with your losses? Can you feel my arms around you? Can you hear my compassion? Have you been speaking with trees? They might know the answer. . .
I Barely Survived
If there is a way to get out of this, mess; with my life intact, and live the lives of my wildest fantasy’s; believe me, I’m on that train. Doesn’t do any good to scream, “Shame, Shame.” It isn’t what you think, not by a long shot.
Seems I’ve been fighting more than one battle here. Dealing with a problem of having a hero complex, and being my own worst enemy playing the victim. And maybe, turning that song, “Anti-Hero” up real loud, might chase those terrors from my gray matter; and send them into hiding.
You didn’t see what I gave it. You wasn’t there, didn’t see it, didn’t hear it. The only record of what it was; is in my mind, heart, DNA, and some number of words; that should remain between me, and God.
Still, to live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people, just exist. That is all. Truth be told, I don’t want to rule the world. That would be a lousy job for me. Having to manage, and oversee the lives of eight billion people; isn’t how I want to spend my time. Not by a long shot. I want to have more interesting things to do, than ruling the world.
Being creative, doing things that are for a thrill, and having some real danger present in some cases of having fun. The kind of stuff, that makes me feel alive, and like, I’m really living. I’ve written about some of the adventures, I want to have. If you take the time, to read them. No one does. Its okay. I don’t blame you. It isn’t your fault. That’s right.
Want a peaceful life, and a home world. That doesn’t get blown up; by the wrong people. Still want to have worlds, to have adventures in, that are there, for the thrill of the game. Maybe, someday in the distant future; you will see my lives, on the TV from your living room, and wonder; How I’m doing? Don’t worry; I will come back to visit.
They say;
“Be very careful when fighting monsters,
that you don’t become a monster yourself.”
At this point, I would rather do just about anything then look in the mirror. That much is for sure. It is just damaged wet wear; however, I don’t want to remember myself that way…
Flying Saucers
Seems the things, that have been done; on the long road; it would be a total bummer; to find out the road doesn’t go through. First, I have to get out of this trap. The world, feels an awful lot like some nasty rat trap; waiting for someone to set it off. You see, it’s not that I’m stupid, not by a long shot; I took lessons.
Last year, was brutal. Laid on the sofa, like a warm sack of poo, almost all year. This year, things haven’t improved much. Seem to be at the cross roads, of some dream that could go either way; and they are telling me; Be strong, don’t give up. It’s worth it.
Despite the odds, and the worst conditions. Sometimes, you have to be like water. And flow through life, and let it go through.
So, I’ve been chipping away; at those projects, working a little each day. Working towards some goal, bigger than a living death. What kind of world, do you want to live in? How does this happen? Seems the things done, on the long road; have all added up; and it looks like the whole damn thing, is going to blow a fuse.
Projects
If you have read this far, stay with me here. I’m going to make a point. Are you listening? All of this, is about freedom. Having neither my health, or my freedom; is a living death. That isn’t living. It feels oppressive, and hurts a lot. They didn’t care about the pain I was in. And really, someone should have cared.
People shouldn’t have to hurt, for long periods of time. And, having neither health or freedom; is oppressive. People don’t seem to understand that. And, I want to live. I’m not looking for bad things, I’m looking for real living, that is a life worthy of having lived. Maybe, I did it wrong?
Who is to say? Most people, are only existing, and not really living much. They think watching a football game on tv, is really living. I’m not interested in playing football, never liked the game. However, you could tempt me with riding a motorcycle, or jumping out of an airplane at high altitude. Or climbing a rock.
Some people, are just wired different. Doesn’t necessarily mean there is something wrong with them, some people, are like house cats. They don’t want to live much. My point is, I want to live more than a living death. And, the meaning of freedom, and having my health; matters a lot.
Being confined the last twenty years; has done me much harm. And, this world has started feeling like some trap; waiting to go off. Seems the adventure awaits. Some cross roads, between two points. So what has the best results? There has to be balance. Fight monsters too long, you run the risk of becoming a monster. Live like zombie cat shit too long, and you loose your love for life, and loose all taste for doing anything more than just existing. Balance matters a lot. I’m trying to find, that balance point; between standing on the ledge of a cliff, and looking into the void.
How Are You, Going To Live In My World?
We want peace. It matters, a lot. If you didn’t know, that I’m begging; would you still read? We want peace, and freedom to live. When what was once considered good, becomes bad, then follow that path to where it goes; you find that you are living like a statue, and not living at all. That isn’t living. You want to rule the world? You would wind up, sitting on a pedestal looking regal all day; and not living like life is meant to be lived. And, life is meant to be lived.
Tired of this world like it is. Seems it’s a hardware problem, it is however a software problem also, that needs fixed; and right quick. Seems many people, are running way outdated software in their gray matter, and that software, is going to not work with the new hardware. And we want new hardware, and software. This world, sucks. The fake people here, are just way too over the top. They don’t read, listen, or think. All of which are needed to make sense of it.
You have to be able; to use logic, and reason.
If you think me mad, maybe you lack the knowledge required to understand. Not everything is known to everyone; and really; life is best left a mystery.