Sunday Morning Musings
Written By A Real Person
Sunday Morning Musings
About Five Hours Until Dawn
The Problem:
People only think, that what is popular is good. The most popular is regarded the most highly in today’s system of things. In the event, I were to judge the quality of my content solely upon the numbers of viewers; this whole project is some awful failure. I don’t, and not going to.
Often
Most people, (almost all of them.) are not able to know the difference between good and bad. Sometimes, when trained, they know the difference between right and wrong. However, it seems to me; they lack the fiber to know good from bad. And, there are some of my own conclusions that have been developed as to why that is the case. Not going to go into details here about the what, and why. Someday, it might be possible to have a very good laugh about this whole thing, and chalk it up, as a good joke.
Some Thoughts
Would really like to see some results that are good from my efforts, while I’m still living, and before I’m seriously too far gone to enjoy them. It would be good, if there were a turning point, that people all agreed that my work, is really pretty good, and the amount of effort I’ve put into it; was above and beyond the call of duty. Want some awards for it.
It would feel good, to have some positive feedback about my efforts. I’ve felt very low, for a long time. It feels impossible to have any real success here. And, I’m not one to like to waste my time. However, at least I’ve been doing something. There are some people, that have spent the last twenty years, watching the TV, getting drunk, and wasting their time, doing nothing productive. At least, that shame, is not mine to bare.
Current
Here on Medium, I’ve written a little more than a hundred thousand words in about a year or so. These have been projects, that might have spent, two or three hours thinking about before ever sitting down to write them. That is a lot of thinking. Really, one would have to wonder, if most people could endure thinking like that, before ever putting ink down?
My journals, are at 194,735 words. Doesn’t look like there will be hitting the marker for one millions words this year. I would have to really work my butt off to hit that mark. In past years, I’ve done it. Doesn’t look like it will happen this year. However, maybe the content is better this year? Not really sure. No way to know. Doubt anyone cares enough about what I think to myself in my private notes to myself to actually read them. And, no you aren’t allowed to read them either.
It has been possible to write, every day this year. Thus far. I’m posting to Medium a few times a week. Do you know, how damn fucking lonely it feels to write and write; when no one is reading them? Makes me feel like the human race is ghosting me. That is not kind. Why the abuse? Doesn’t feel like fair play!!
You should be careful who you treat badly. If you knew me, maybe you would be a better person? You never know. Most people aren’t able to understand. However, I’m only writing for those who will understand me, and I’m sure; there maybe as many as fifty people that will come into this world, that will get my work; perfectly.
Adjust Your Attitude
The only way to work on your thoughts, is to spend time controlling your thoughts. In the event, you let someone else do all your thinking for you, will only amount to what they have already thought for you.
Attitudes, are like socks. You should have enough socks at your disposal to wear a clean pair, every day of the week. When you wake up, you put on a clean fresh pair, and at the end of the day; you take them off and throw them in the heap. You should do laundry once a week, and always put on a clean pair of socks. Hence, your attitude, should be fresh every morning, and you put it in the heap at the end of the day, and do laundry on a regular basis.
Likewise, your thinking, and attitude is like socks. Don’t wear the same pair of socks, for like six days in a row, and keep the same stinky attitude about everything for that long. The socks fit the shape of your foot, and that is the mold of your attitude, however, it needs a fresh pair of socks every day.
Sometimes things like rocks, or stickers get stuck in your socks. You have to take them out, and put on a fresh pair. In the event you find yourself knee deep wading in water; maybe, you should have taken your shoes off before getting wet. Likewise, you have to let go of the heavy stuff, that you have no control over, or ability to change or do anything about.
Your choice of shoes, should be careful. You don’t want thongs, to go climb a mountain. And likewise, you want a comfortable sandal to wear at the beach. I’m not going to say a word about high heals, or boots. Those are your own choices. You should be fashionable, and sensible. Sometimes, your choices will reflect, some less than practical need. How many pairs of shoes, are really necessary?
They should be comfortable. These boots, have taken me a year to learn how to walk in. I’m kind of tired of the way they hurt my feet. However, there may not be good alternatives. Sometimes, you have to make the best of it.
Two AM Thoughts. . .
In the event you read this, Hi. You should spend some time, and talk with me. We could have a conversation about something, and who knows; maybe have a few laughs. It does matter having a sense of humor about life. I’m old and tired. The years have not been kind, and some parts of the problems have been due to things, that are beyond my control. Everything is cause and effect; and, some things are not having good results.
Looking for some way to come out of this, and have myself functional. Really could use some new wet wear. All those times this body has malfunctioned, could be solved with a new body. Take off the old suit, and put a new one on. That would do wonders for my attitude. The difference would be night and day; respectively.
Most people, take advice from people that are falling apart. I’ve often remarked, that you should avoid the hot mess, and stick with the hot knife. I’m not sure, where you could say, that I fit on this spectrum. I’m not falling apart, or bursting at the seams. Some people have remarked, that I’m full of poo; that however, is not very kind, when they couldn’t do the work I’ve done.
Most days, I feel like the dull knife. Not a hot mess, but not very sharp. Seems, there has been some wear and tear, and I’ve not worn well.
Two Thirty
Life is meant to be lived. You sometimes, have to do things, that make you feel alive. Sometimes, that means you have to get out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, it means sticking to routine, and making the best of it. Still, you should feel like you are a living person. In the event, you are completely numb inside, your not living very well. Wake up!