Creative Slumps

Written By A Real Person

Creative Slumps

Somethings, are broken.

The Problem:

This is me, in a creative slump. There are many problems with this. Some of them, are serious.

Toast

Inside, I feel empty. Like this is me, becoming mindless, a walking dead, and a damn zombie. Not feeling very alive, or like there is anything well with the way things are. I’ve not done anything creative, in many months.

Seems, that I’m spending a lot of time, laying on the sofa, like a warm sack of poo. That, and laying in my bed. Trying to let the feelings of panic pass through me, and away from me.

Zombie

This is me, feeling like a zombie. Eat, poo, smoke, sleep. Not sure which of these things, I’m spending more time doing. I’ve lost count so many times, of asking myself: Is this my first cigarette while sitting here, or my second?

I’m spacing out. time is a blur. This is me, becoming a zombie. Mindless. You want to know what I think the problem is? One should never eat pumpkin anything. That goes for watermelon, squash, zucchini, and anything else related to pumpkins. That whole clan is a bad mix.

This is me, becoming a zombie. Mindless, stupid. The walking dead. I breath, yet, it doesn’t feel like my heart is beating. Maybe I’ve died? I’m not being creative. I’m in a slump. I’ve done very little creative work. To be honest, i don’t feel creative. I’m drugged stupid from that stuff the doctors give you when your a bit mental.

I’m a lot more, a warm sack of shit, then I have ever been in my whole life. And, I must say; that I hate it. I feel in a stupor. Feeling dead inside, like it doesn’t matter what people think, or say.

This, is me; disintegrating. This is me, coming undone. Breaking, and turning to dust. This is what has come of me, and it doesn’t feel like, anything good will come from it.

This is me; broken, and bent. Not half as smart, as i should have been. Seems one side of the mushroom will make you bigger, and the other side of the mushroom will make you smaller. And at this point, I’m so very insignificant, I’m might just go completely out of existence if I grow any smaller.

Want To Be Remembered Well

Wanted to inspire people, to do something with their lives. A lot of people, do a lot more than me. However, I would like to see anyone under the same conditions, do better than me. That would be fun. I’m not a great photographer. Truth be told, anyone with six months training, and a decent camera, could do as well. However, someone under the same conditions as me, likely wouldn’t have done much of anything.

Did I accomplish anything? I’m not sure. Only time will tell. It remains to be seen if my efforts will have any lasting effects. Sometimes, things are delayed, or not always seen when you think they should be seen.

Wanted to be remembered well. Wanted to be liked, and wanted. Seems I’ve got hurt feelings about the way things are. I often say my prayers before going to sleep that I will die in my sleep. It just doesn’t seem to matter to anyone. I’m neither, feeling loved, or respected. Won’t even go into the problems that I feel are present with being trusted.

Like to see you do better, than me. Under better conditions, anyone would do well. However, under these conditions; a person would loose their mind. If the isolation didn’t drive you mad, the lack of success would have some real bad things to say to your self esteem, and ego.

A person shouldn’t believe everything that they think. However, I have to wonder, if this only applies to the negative shit that we tell ourselves. If you can not trust your own mind, you couldn’t trust anyone in the whole world.

And really if your mind lies to you, you shouldn’t believe everything that you think. And, really with no one to talk with about much of anything; it leaves me in a quandary of what to really believe. What will come of me?

This is me, becoming mindless, stupid, zombie fodder, and dust. To everything turn. My turn will come back around. Will you play with me? Please don’t be a stick in the mud, and lets have some fun.

The matrix, should be a toy. This trying to make a prison a home, just doesn’t seem to be working out. We want neat toys, that really make some noise. Something bigger with a big brass bell, that really goes pop.

This is me, disintegrating. Turning into a mindless zombie. A warm sack of poo. I will tell you this, you want to avoid doing what I did. It is not recommended. As Charles Bukowski said: “Don’t Try” My advise is doing something real with your life. Be a race car driver, or deep sea diver. You should do something physical, like down hill skiing, or maybe something on the dance floor. Avoid the mistakes that I made. They are not advised.

Avoid the Tea.