Thoughts. . .

Thoughts. . .

The way things are.

Thoughts

Life has ways, of dealing blows. (I just sneezed.) Yeah, seems life blows. I’ve known, for a long time; that life just wasn’t fair. I remember the day that I knew beyond any doubt; that my life as i knew it; was over.

Here is the photo:

When this photo was taken, I knew my life would never be the same. I used to like the way i looked. I thought that i had some good stuff going for me. I was thin, and well off before this photo was taken. On this day however; i knew my life was in for some real shit.

Had I known, just how much shit was going to come due to me; I might not have kept living. Yet, I did manage to endure this much. I’m not sure, how much more that I can take. The way things are, my future could be really interesting.

In the event, that I get to live my wildest fantasies; then, i would be living the dream. In the event that things don’t have a real change; I’m going to be having my funeral. Likely be the only one in attendance.

Tired

Feels like there is a real lack of love in my life. Tired of hurting like this. No one to really talk with me about the stuff that I do like. And its frustrating, to have to endure this much isolation. It really makes me suffer. You have no idea, how much the isolation hurts me.

Being alone, is better than being with fake people. That would suck, a lot more than this. Of the two, i would take being alone over spending time with fake people. It just seems like a really nasty double bind to me.

Want to be around others, and that never works out.

Looking for answers to my problems. A lot of the facts, depend upon what is really the truth of the matter. I have some ideas about this stuff. And, within reason; a lot of it has been proved to be true.

Hence, what can i do? Doesn’t seem like there are good answers. Not right now. I have an answer to every problem; but we ain't at that point yet. I have a real cure for this shit. The problem is i have to endure until i reach that point. Waiting for the day!!!!