A Cosmic Sense of Isolation

A Cosmic Sense of Isolation

This language, lacks the words to describe it.

The Problem:

The more you know; the more it hurts. The more you know, and understand, the more difficult it becomes for you. Most humans, need some knowledge. And most of the time; what they know, suffices for their needs.

Seeds

Not going to try to explain it. I would fair better, to talk with them, about turtles. Or how the weather is where they are. They would never know the difference; or what burdens I have to carry.

The weather is cold. It would make you chill, if you spent much time outdoors right now. It is almost too cold, to smoke two cigarettes in row. Even with gloves on my hands, that cover most of the hand, it is really difficult to keep my hand, exposed to the cold air for that long.

You can figure, that I can smoke a cigarette, in about five minutes. So that is about ten minutes, of being outside, in some really low temperatures.

Well, I’m up at this hour, anyways. It is some of the coldest hours in winter, when we have weather like we have right now. I’m feeling it.

The music

The music, plays non-stop. I’ve found some good bands to listen to. Sometimes, i even listen to the music that they try to feed me.

The music should not stop in this ride. The music, simply must play on, and on; until the desired results; are obtained. You wouldn’t understand it. Needless to say; most people, aren’t really that into music.

I’m not sure, what i feel inside. seems less, like chaos; and more like there is potential for some peace. Want peace, really do. That would work, wonders for me.

Seems like i wanted people to care about me. Wanted someone to take an interest in my stories, and what i was talking about. Wanted good results; and it seems like the results that we have, should have been better.

In the event, people would have listened to me; it would have been better. Such is life; the problems have already happened, and nothing will ever change that. Not unless; something big changes.

Like i was saying, wanted people to care about me. Wanted my stories, to make a difference, in their lives, and maybe give them some hope.

Well, if they give you that much; i will see it as a success. That would be good. Good for you, and good for me. That would be progress. Feeling like, i’m to the point, that i want to see results from my efforts.

To what extent those results will be made to be known, depends upon the results. Might find myself; being the only one here; that gives me a pat on the back, and says: “Good job.” You wouldn’t believe what it took, to make it possible. And I’m not going to tell you either.

That turtle, has been going a long time now. Maybe, much further; than people would believe. And, I’m not going to tell you how long, i think its been. Because to be honest, I don’t know. So it would be senseless to make up some tail of how long that turtle has been going on his mission.

Maybe someday there will be good results. That work like they should. That is a goal of mine. Wish i had someone to talk with about this stuff. Doesn’t seem anyone listens to me about it. Maybe, they have better things to do with their time? Maybe they don’t want to know? That might be a lot of it.

And really, its best, that i keep it to myself. You don’t want to know, and you wouldn’t care if you did. Unless the results are something that is really a complete and total failure; its best to keep it to myself.

In the event the results are total failure; there is problems here, i’m not able to fix, and need some really serious help with this project.

The way things are, want good results. That work like they should. In the event that the results work like they should; I will pat myself on the back, and say good job. And carry on.

Seems no one cared about my projects, or what i was doing. And, maybe that is best. There is this sense of a cosmic isolation in my life. I’m not really sure, how to connect with things that are present.

There was a bird yesterday; that flew two feet from me. He sat and looked at me. Maybe he smiled? Who can say? He wanted food. And there is someone here, who puts bird food out for them. I guess, that is the extent of what connections that i have with these things.

When you know too much; everything looks different. You don’t see things the same way anymore. Maybe when this project spins like it should; for a while; i will forget my woes, and live like i used to. And that will be a nice change. For a while.

That turtle, keeps going. So shall we.