Seems I’m An Anomaly

Seems I’m An Anomaly

Its Not That I Do Not Belong; I Need to be Understood

The Problem:

Doesn’t feel like I’m understood. And maybe some of the problem is that I’m not understanding the human race very well. It would be good, in the event that I understood the human race better.

Maybe, in the event that I understood them; they would understand me better too? Perhaps.

It’s not that I don’t belong here. However the problems that I’m facing, doesn’t really seem to bother the human race. And I have to wonder, if maybe a lot of the problem is that they lack the fiber to know? Perhaps.

Wish i could make it clear to them, what kinds of things make me hurt. Maybe if they knew, what hurts me; they would stop doing that to me? One can hope. That would be a goal of mine.

I’m awful lonely these days. Need some real tender care. Need some real loving ways shown to me. It’s going to take some work, on their part. Because the way things are now; I’m not in good shape. And much of my life, is broken and bent. And someone is going to have to take the time, to understand why. Does this make sense?

There is no simple fix here. I need love and kindness. Even if i don’t seem very lovable right now. I guess, the human race, is going to have to budge a little, and make room for even myself.

Want peace with them. The way things are the treatment I’ve been shown, isn’t the kind of stuff, that leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy. I would say that it feels like I’ve been forlorn and left for dead.

A lot of this stuff, feels like I’ve been deprived of quality life. Maybe some of this stuff, has been training for the things that I really want? Perhaps. Sometimes the training isn’t fair. If life were fair, you wouldn’t have to train for it all.

We are going to train, twice as hard as real life will ever be.

Then the living will be easy. Right = ?

Wish the training was over with already. Looking for some relief from this mess. Really want some comfort, that feels like comfort. And if you knew, just how much discomfort I’ve had to deal with; you wouldn’t believe me, in the event that I told you.

I’ve known pains, and hurts. I’ve worked through them, in my projects. My thoughts are that a normal person would have never done what I’ve done under the conditions that I’ve done it.

Let that sink in. (Read it again)

The way things are, it’s taken everything i have to do what I’ve done. And at this point, I’m not sure how much more of this, that I can take without seeing some good results from my efforts.

The work of my hands, has not seen fruit bore from my labor. And that is is an awful feeling to have. I know results don’t always come when we expect them to. However, this has been going on more than ten years. And really something with this projects, should have started to show blooms.

I’m awful lonely. Maybe its part of the training? Wish i could get a hug. The way things are, this stuff, would make most people mean. It really would. Between the pains, and the lack of success; most people would have quit a long time ago.

What course of action can I take; that shows how serious I am about this stuff? What would drive the points home for you, that you understood what it means to me personally? Doesn’t seem to be good answers to that.

You would think, people would have been interested in my work? Or that my work and effort would have been enough, that they would have shown interest in me personally. So far, that hasn’t happened much.

Seems I’m an anomaly in this world. Most people don’t understand me. And likewise, I’m confused by the human race, and the example they have shown me. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like we communicate well. Why?

Want peace here. The frustrations that I have, need to be addressed. Because if you want real peace with me, these problems have to get a lot better. Really !!!!