I Want To Live

I Want To Live

My Need For Extreme Sports

The Problem:

Compared to how I used to live; my life the last twenty-two years has been a living death. It’s a problem.

I will make a quick bullet list of things I’ve done, and explain them.

• Bicycles
• SkateBoards
• Downhill Snow Skiing
• Indoor Rock Climbing
• Mountain Climbing
• Backpacking — solo multi-day excursions
• Bodyboarding in the ocean
• Water Skiing
• Snorkeling
• Motorcycles — Two and Three Wheel Dirt Bikes
• RollerBlades
• VolleyBall
• Swing Dancing

These are a few of the things I’ve done well.

Explanations

While growing up, I was always on my bicycle. I was really pretty good. It made me feel alive, to push myself. Mind you I was doing more than just riding the bike. I was doing tricks, launch ramps, and trick ramps.

Most days between the ages of 10–14 you could find me, in the middle of the street, and likely standing on the seat and handlebars of the bicycle. Sometimes, if you were paying attention, you could see me standing with both feet on the handlebars; standing up on just the handlebars.

I’ve done some pretty hairy tricks on a bicycle. Stuff you wouldn’t believe. I’ve ridden on both skateboards, and bicycles in skate parks. I’ve launched off ramps on skateboards, in the streets.

I’ve done downhill snow skiing, and done both black diamonds, and double black diamond runs. I’ve tried snowboarding. I’ve spent all day skiing, and gone back home, to only try climbing a rock.

I’ve done indoor rock climbing, and done quite difficult climbs, with ease. You would have to have seen them to believe me about them. Stuff with overhangs that stick out three feet. 5.10b — 5.11a climbs.

Once, when I was in my prime, I free climbed an 80 foot waterfall, with no rope, and needless to say; was the event of my life.

I’ve been snorkeling before. That was pretty fun. I’ve played in the ocean, and done bodyboarding, in big waves. Never really got into surfing, but it would have happened eventually.

I used to do a lot of hiking, and backpacking. I’ve climbed mountains, and had run ins with both poisonous snakes, and bears. I’ve climbed until the point of exhaustion. Only to climb back down the mountain.

I’ve lived a lot. The stuff I’ve done, used to make me feel alive. And I was doing things for real, in my own talent and skill. Mind you, those were hard won skills and talents. I worked for them. And there was a lot of things that happened, that were lessons about how to live.

I think people have to work within their skill sets. And always work on their skills to the point they improve. I was most often within my reasonable abilities. But I worked up to a lot of stuff, that wasn’t easy.

What is my point about all this? The last twenty-two years, have been a living death. All the fun toys that I was used to playing with, have been taken away from me. And I’ve suffered because of it.

There are things I want to do. This life is not living. It’s a living death. There is no real physical exertion. And it wears on me, heavily. I’m getting so weak, that it will take me years to build my skills, and muscles back up.

There are things I want to do. I’m tired of laying on the sofa, like a warm sack of shit. Just existing, like that is the only thing I’m capable of doing.

I want to work my way back up to doing cool stuff. Things that make me feel alive. Things I’m thinking I want to do a lot more of, are:

• Mountain bikes
• Street Motorcycle bikes
• Zip lines — if i can find one fast enough
• Indoor rock climbing again, when I’m back in shape

The way things are, I’ve laid on the sofa, like a warm sack of shit, for far too long. This life, is not living. It’s a living death. Zombie shit. There is no rush of life, in laying on the sofa. It’s boring, and dull. I’m tired of this shit.

Want to live. And want to live well. That means that I have to do things that make me feel alive. And that means being more physically active. I want my life back, in full swing, doing things that make me feel alive.

This life is an existence, nothing more. And, that is not how life is meant to be lived. People need to be able to do things that make them feel like living.

I agree that a person should work within their skills. However with proper training, and building skills; much can be done. I want that. Like a lot.

The life I’ve been living, is not living. It’s a living death. And it’s going to be the end of me. I’m going to die, armless, legless, deaf, and blind, in a coma, and brain dead; all due to the lack of activity and proper exercise.

Want better. Damn it. Tired of this life. Want to do more. I’ve tried doing it the way I’ve been told to do it, and I’m tired of this shit. Want to live, and live well. And that means doing some things, that require talent and skill.

Truth of the matter

Some people are just wired differently, and need these kinds of things, to feel alive. And being able to have those needs met, is the only way they can sustain really living. Because otherwise, life is just a living death. Tired of the zombie shit in this life. The last twenty-two years have all sucked.