The Gate Of The Buddha’s Return

The Gate Of The Buddha’s Return

Story

Balance matters!

Anyone in this life, that knows me; could guess who I was in past lives. I won’t bring it up about my past lives. I know, some of the lives that I’ve lived. And anyone that really knew me, would be able to figure it out.

Most of the humans in this world; don’t really deserve to know much about me. After the ways they have treated me; a few will be rewarded. Some of them, have been loyal servants.

Only the immortals and myself, will be able to make use of everything we have. Those rights, will be denied to the human race. We may make some provisions for humans, they however, will be limited in nature.

In this life, I wasn’t necessarily born to humble parents. Though they are bourgeoisie and nearly peasants; they are both [edited], and have their issues. I’ve had to chalk my experience with my mortal parents up as training, and lessons that I’ve been forced to learn the hard way.

And the lessons have been painful. Really an experience that I would have preferred to have avoided. Seems there is no way to escape their clutches. They do not understand me. Sometimes, there is this doubt in my mind, that we even speak the same language.

That is besides the point. Good training, is still good training. And some of the lessens were good. Take life as you find it, and make the best of it.

Really having balance, matters a whole lot. And in matters with the current situations; these equations will have to be calculated. And reevaluated. Somethings here, don’t add up.

One of my goals here, is to find favor. With whom, I will not yet say; at some point I will elaborate on it. For now, what I will say is that I want peace with them all.

In the event you understood why I want peace with them, you might laugh. I do. Silently, to myself; in the hopes that I can keep my sense of humor intact. Some things have been nearly crushed in me. Keeping a sense of humor; matters.

Some of my past lives, have been very interesting. Of what I can put together; some have ended quite perilously. What I’m at liberty to say; is that some of them, have had bad endings.

Seems the quality of life, is sometimes difficult to maintain, when going between different lives. Sometimes your up, and sometimes you are down. Still you have to make good medicine from what seems like bitter living.

The lessons have to be learned. Because the lessons are there to teach you; for future lives. And the lessons will repeat, until the lessons are learned. Sure hope that I get the hang of this, really soon; and figure my way out of this mess.

Life is suffering. Everything is cause and effect. Sometimes you have to be the source of good outcomes. Don’t let everything that is a cause; have an effect on you. This point matters a whole lot.

Life requires a good perspective. And you have to be able to see clearly; and be free from all delusions. Sometimes there are things, that will not make sense, until you understand the deeper truths. And, the truth is stranger than you would understand unless you’ve given it a whole lot of thought.

Really the truth of the matter, is any thinking person could figure it out. Given enough time, and patience. It’s taken me, going on twenty-three years; to arrive at these conclusions. When I was young, there wasn’t the level of understanding, that I’ve come to have now.

I must say, that both my lovers in this life; they were pit vipers. Although there was some pleasure involved, it was bitter medicine. Now, twenty-three years later; I’m only a little wiser. Difficult choices had to be made, and sometimes the results were not very successful. Or at least looked like total failures in the eyes of onlookers.

A real person in this world, would be thought mad by society. Seems the social norms in this world; have become nearly impossible to deal with. Most humans, think they make sense. I’m not like most humans.

The bible says that there is one real man, out of ten thousand men. I’m a rare breed, and you wouldn’t find others like me; if you search a billion people. And because of this fact, it appears that I’m an anomaly in this world. Most don’t have the experience that I’ve had.

And, once a mind has been stretched to new dimensions, it never really returns to the same small shape. I’ve lived many lives, and had many experiences. Some good, and some bad. My goal is to not make the same mistakes; over and over again. Not unless the results are really good. Then sometimes one has to be willing to make some mistakes in life.

A really important point that I try to keep in mind; is always be a beginner. Keeping a good attitude, and mind set. Sometimes people say: “Have you ever wanted to take bad advice?” Would you take it twice?

The way things are, I’ve been given some good advice, and sometimes I don’t always want to follow it. I see the good that would come from it; in some ways.

I see the good it would do for humans. However, I’m not sure that my path, is one that requires following human guidelines. I see the good in it. And still need to do some things to make all this work out in the ways that will see success.

I think humans, should be bound; to some very conservative roles. Almost to the point of bondage in conservative lifestyles. They might benefit from those roles. However, I wouldn’t want to be tied to the same standards. Not a chance.

Life is meant to be lived, and I want to live the best that is possible. I won’t yet go into the details about it; only to say that humans won’t be given the same abilities.

Only the immortals will be given true freedom. Those who are only human, will be limited in what they are allowed to have, and do.

Karmic Debts

This is not the first time that I Have lived this life. Of this point; I am convinced, in whole. You could try to change my mind about this point; it would however be a senseless pursuit. I believe this point, so throughly that not anyone but the true God could convince me otherwise.

And even then, I would have my doubts about it. In the past, there were some issues of having acquired some karmic debts. I was pretty naughty in some of my past lives. I’ve been told, that I was pretty naughty in this life. I’m not sure at this point, what debts I may have acquired.

In the event that my karmic debts have all been paid, then this mission going forward, is almost guaranteed success. My hopes are that these debts have been forgiven, and that the punishments will not continue indefinitely.

In the hopes of that line of thinking, hopefully the worst of this mess, is now over; and I can look forward to going forward with new found hopes, and peace of mind.

There are things that I remember having done. I would like to go into the details in depth; however, it would suffice to say that some things that were done, that changed me in major ways. To explain the whole thing is a complex matter. I will start somewhere in the story; and give some details.

A very long time ago, my mind was different. I was told to stay out of my mind, and not to program anything in my mind. Needless to say; I programmed my own mind. In the event that I remember correctly; there were two of us that did that project.

We programmed a destination, in our minds. We were both successful. Then, the father saw what we had done, and wasn’t happy about it in the least. He tried to reprogram my mind, but only could go so far. He wanted a chance, to finish his programming.

He wasn’t given the option to do that. And I’m not sure what results this will have for me personally. The destination that was programmed in my mind, was supposed to be a good place.

However, the father didn’t believe it would be a good place. There is no way to change the programming in my mind. So there was a problem, that the destination was a bad place for a long time. Perhaps, enough time has passed that this problem has been corrected, and the destination will be a good place again.

And that was a whole lot of the karmic debt that I had. Programming my mind, was something no one but the father should have done. I did it myself. Why? Because I have goals, and plans. And in the event the destination is a good place again, then I’m looking forward to seeing success of this project.

This, is not the first time I’ve lived this life. How many times this life has happened, is a great unknown to me. Really I believe this to the core. Looking for good results from my projects. Want to live a good life. It matters to me.

The first half of this project, the destination turned out to be a bad place. How long that first half actually lasted, is unknown to me. In the event enough time has passed, the destination will be a good place again. The problem corrected, and peace restored.

But how could I know for certain? I don’t. I know that my mind was programmed, before I was born into this life. And now I’m here. I need conformation that the problem has been fixed, and the punishments will not be going on indefinitely.

This is a sticky point. Seems I’ve paid some very high prices for my actions. Prices that have cost me a great deal of pain, that is beyond what a mortal would be able to endure.

Yet, here I am. Doing it all again. Why? Because I believe that my project will have good results someday. Maybe a high cost up front, and the life of my wildest fantasies coming true in the second half. Want to have everything paid for, like way ahead of time. That way I’m free to live my life, and not having the debts to be responsible for.

Seems sometimes there is a heavy price for bad wisdom. Yet, in the event that what I believe is true; then maybe my life will be better than anyone in this world could ever dream possible? You never know…

The cost, is a heavy burden. Hopefully the price has been paid, and the karmic debt that I had hanging over my head, has been forgiven, and the problems have been corrected. How could I know for sure? Doesn’t seem to be any sign posts in this world, that show how many times I’ve lived this life.

I’ve had to guess, that living this life maybe as many as twenty million times would be enough, to have seen a change happen. That is a hope of mine. But to say exactly how many times I’ve lived this life; it wouldn’t be possible. I have no way to know for sure.

Maybe the father will tell me, exactly how many times this has happened in this universe. My hope is that there will be good results. It matters to me. Otherwise, the pain might be more than anyone would ever believe. Want to avoid that.

Looking for good news.

Quick Recap of this chapter:

This is not the first time I’ve lived this life. And, very likely I’m an immortal. A very long time ago, I programmed my own mind, before coming into this world. The father, did some of his own programming in my mind, and its not been fun, to deal with those problems.

The people in this world, seem like puppets. They do not listen, read, or think. Want good results from this project. Only the best. Maybe my karmic debts have been paid off in full, and I will get the life of my wildest fantasies.

Who really knows for sure? How could anyone be sure?